Everytime I see an aeroplane I am reminded of our trip to Austria to wean Jason. How hard it was to raise the funds to get us there but I did it, I took the plunge, put my pride in my pocket and made the plan and got us there. Only to arrive and Jason had caught rotavirus and norovirus, two of the most contagious nasty gastro and vomiting infections. Why does one have to go through all this? We are one of the lucky ones, we are blessed that we could get there and learn the wealth of knowledge that we learnt. We just weren't lucky enough to wean. I count my blessings that we could go and I use that knowledge in our every day life.
There are a lot of parents with harder difficulties and challenges and I know I should count my blessings. We have come a long way and it's a miracle Jason is with us today. I look back at how far he has come, how far we have come and how well he is doing. Jason is amazing us with his abilities and learning to eat. He is doing well at school, he has come a long way.
Financial strain is a difficult one that a lot of us have to deal with. Having to ask and rely on help so that we can do the best for our children. Survive and pay our monthly bills and doctors bills when it's difficult to make it to work every day. Our kids need those doctors visits, they need the special schools and therapies to help them grow and develop further in life, they need that special formula and feeding devises. We are not super human and earn the money that is needed to meet those monthly expenses and medical bills. Sometimes we have to rely on others and the help and support of fundraisers, raffles etc. It is very difficult raising funds, especially when it is for yourself. It is so demoralizing having to try and raise money to meet your medical bills but at the end of the day there are people out there that are willing to help and able to help. I never thought I would have to do the things I have to do but if I didn't do it where would we be today, how would Jason receive the therapy, schooling, nutritional support and see the doctors that we need to see? Sometimes you have to put your pride in your pocket and ask for help. It's the only way.
It's ok to have a difficult day or two, it's ok to to have moments of stress and strain. Goodness we wouldn't be human if we didn't. So for all you going through difficult times, it's ok. This too shall pass. Some people may not understand because they have never been in your shoes or in your situation BUT there are a few that do understand and can relate to your situation and difficulties. Those people become your friends and the people who are always there for you. Just a phone call or whatsapp away. I am blessed to have friends like this in my life and I am blessed to be their friend. Our children are special, our children are a blessings. Our children are challenging but our children are special.
See I do also have my moments. Jill Long also loses the plot sometimes. I am not always tough. I often get asked "how do you do it". Well what choice do I have? I have to keep going, I was chosen as Jason's mother and Bruce was chosen as Jason's father. We don't have any special abilities and power. We are only human as much as you. You can get through anything you set your mind to. Of course God is always by our side and watching over us. He always gives us the strength and ability to go beyond our means. We are not special, we were not given extra abilities. We are just mothers and fathers given extra special children to care for.
In the time that I have typed this Jason drank 200mls of paediasure via a cup. I do feel better and this is why I continue my blog. This is my therapist, this is my place to write my feelings down. Blogging makes me feel better and blogging gives me reminders of where we were and how far we have come. Whether people read it or not, whether people like it or not. It's not to get pity, it's not to say poor me. It's for those people reading this thinking that they are all alone and no-one can relate to them. Well the past two weeks I have met and been communicating with 3 such people. I am one person but if I can help and make a difference in their lives I am a happy person. This is what life and struggles are all about, about helping others, about being there for others and about having others being there for you. I am blessed to have quite a few people that are there for me. They give me the encouragement and the strength to not stress about the little things in life. We are dealing with situations on such a huge scale with our children and unfortunately the little every day life things become so little because we have other things to deal with. We lose friends because they cannot understand what we go through but we have those friends that we never lose, those friends that stand by us through good times and bad even if they don't understand it themselves. BUT also we have those special friends that know exactly what we are talking about.
So no matter what you are going through in life, whether it is a sick child, a sick parent, a sick spouse, a death in the family, a divorce. Just hang in there, things do get better. There are people going through what you are going through and that do understand. Don't try and do everything yourself. Rely on others, chat to others. You are not always going to get the support you need from friends and family but they only mean well. Sometimes they don't get it, they may not understand your situation. You can't expect them to understand. The best advice I can give you is take it one day at a time!!!
And for those reading this that maybe don't have the challenges that some of your friends do. The best advice I can give you is just be there to listen to them even if you don't understand. Sometimes all we want is someone to listen to. Give them space if they need space, don't pressurize them to do things they may not want to do but pick up that phone, write that email, send that whatsapp just so that they know you are there for them. Don't judge them for the things that they did or didn't do. They don't mean to deliberately miss that function, they are most of the times so busy that they don't get the time in the day to pick up the phone and make that call or to return that email. It doesn't mean they don't value your friendship and appreciate your email or call.