Tomorrow we repeat the urine test to check the protein levels in the urine. Praying that the levels have come down with the medication BUT if it doesn't there is always a reason for this and it is meant to be. Everything in life happens for a reason and I am the person I am today because of what I have been through in life. I really do believe that everything happens for a reason and God has planned our future already. He knows what is install for us, our future is already planned for us.
Tonight I decided I have had enough of lasagne and thought it was time to treat myself to some Nandos. After finally locating my car keys which were missing in action and had been handed to hospital security I made my way out into the fresh air. What a gorgeous beautiful night. I looked above me and the sky was lit full of the most beautiful stars. I looked into the sky, I looked all around me and I said "right God I need a breakthrough, I need answers, give us some answers now, you have the power to change things, give us some answers". I got into my car and as I started my car on the radio was Bob Marley's "No Woman No Cry" right at the appropriate spot "Everything's going to be all right, Everything's going to be all right". That was like God saying to me don't worry about it, "Everything's going to be all right". On the way home from Nando's I was sitting at the robot opposite the hospital. I looked up at the hospital with the blue neon light thinking gosh I have been staying there a long time. I again said to God "right God how much longer am I going to be there". The very next song on the radio was "The Final Countdown" lol. God was telling me "Not much longer". So I had an awesome conversation with God tonight. He told me that everything is going to be all right and we won't be here much longer.
You know when you find yourself in difficult situations it really makes you step back and think about things. Being away from Bruce and Nicole and away from life and reality has been really, really difficult but through this experience I have learnt SO much. Bruce and I have had a hard time with Jason the past 6 years and it hasn't been easy but through it all we still remain strong. We still have a fantastic bond. We love each other very much. We have just had to put our children first and we haven't had a lot of US time. Hopefully when we are all together again Bruce and I will get to have some US time for a change. We have had non-stop stress with Jason being so sick these past years. We have watched our little boy grow and suffer in front of our eyes but through this all we have learnt no matter what happens God is with us every step of the way. He never leaves our side. Sometimes we do forget that, sometimes we lose ourselves along the way and go through life without our faith and take it for granted. Sometimes we take each other for granted and forget that we must remember the other first as well. This past month I have watched how fantastic Bruce is with Nicole and how much he loves me and his family. I never doubted his love but when you are so busy in your every day lives you do tend to forget to stop and look at your partner and see what they do and appreciate their support. I have seen this with Bruce how he has been caring for Nicole. Nicole is a HANDFUL. She is a real busy body, at the age of 13 months they all are but I have watched Bruce and how fantastic he is with her, what a great father he is to Nicole and Jason and what a great husband he is to me. He has had a difficult time looking after her all on his own, getting her to school and back. Running back and forth to the hospital to see Jason and myself, bringing us clothes and the things we need. Trying to do his job as well, trying to run the farm and seeing to the house. I have an amazing husband and I love him very much. I chose wisely. He is a fantastic father to our children and a brilliant husband to me. God blessed me with an amazing man :-)
So sometimes life doesn't turn out as you planned it but it was never your plans to make. God has plans of his own for us and we are here to learn and to grow. Life isn't easy but continue to have the faith that God has plans for you that "Everything's going to be alright" because God is walking with you and watching over you.